Political Chat Soup

(an appetiser for a chaotic dinner party)

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 teaspoons of liberal rhetoric
• half a cup of conservative diatribe
• 1 neo-conservative (slightly toasted)
• 3 tablespoons of communist agenda
• 5 lightly battered zionists
• 4 tablespoons of racist jingoism
• quarter of a cup of socialist ad hominems
• 4 teaspoons of marxist philosophy
• 1 de-booted neo-nazi
• 5 sifted cups of free intellectual enquiry
• a pinch of laissez-faire economics (partially blanched)
• 1 dessert spoon of respect for traditional institutions
• some radical, subversive or reactionary views
• a smattering of dictatorial fascism
• a sprinkling of discrimination or prejudice
• 1 bottle of international goodwill

METHOD:

1. Open the bottle of international goodwill and sniff the cork.
2. Combine the free intellectional inquiry, the lassez-faire economics and the respect for traditional institutions. (This is a relatively inert mixture and as such requires little if no safety precautions.)
3. Pour yourself a small glass of the international goodwill and take a sip.
4. In a large bowl, mix together thoroughly the racist jingoism, the marxist philosophy and the socialist ad hominems. (Place aside until the mixture stops bubbling)
5. Drink a glass of international goodwill.
6. Smack the neo-nazi on the head with a wooden spoon.
7. Place in a large pot the liberal rhetoric, the conservative diatribe and the communist agenda. (No need to apply heat as the mixture will reach boiling point on its own.)
8. Dispense with the glass and begin drinking straight from the bottle of international goodwill.
9. Smack the neo-nazi on the head with a wooden spoon and call him a waste of space.
10. Finish off the bottle of international goodwill and fling the empty into the fireplace.
12. Begin to tenderise the neo-nazi with a meat mallet. (Ear plugs are recommended.)
13. Quaff the second bottle of international goodwill while peeling and chopping into cubes the lightly battered zionists. (Ear plugs are optional.)
14. Coat the neo-conservative with the sprinkling of discrimination or prejudice and the smattering of dictatorial fascism.
15. Marinate whatever ingredients are left, and yourself, in a vat of international goodwill.
16. Serve in individual bowls the combined mixtures garnished with some radical, subversive or reactionary views.

(This recipe is a guaranteed starter for dinner parties. Before you have time to serve the main course your guests will be punching away. If there is anyone left standing before the dessert is served, they may have come to the conclusion that it is safer to discuss sex and religion.)