*~*
IT BURPS! IT FARTS! IT WETS ITS FUR WITH LAUGHTER!
*~*
Ok, it doesn't do any of those things but it does other scary things. Yes, I added the horns. And yes, it was a joke. Please put the gun down.
*~*
Seriously, I thought this thing was having a seizure or an epileptic fit. Maybe the next model can have flashing eyes to ensure that the owner and doll can have matching concurrent seizures.
*~*
What has been described as the America's "gun culture" or love affair with weapons has always been at least slightly disturbing to me. But not anymore. Having watched the video of Elmo cacking his pants for about 2 minutes, I would be reaching for the nearest weapon to put it out of its misery. If there is anything out there that is begging to be a target, it is "Tickle Me Elmo."
*~*
So my suggestion would be. Spare your sanity, buy a gun and tickle the doll with a round of hollow points.
What will the next version be? These ideas might be popular for political pundits.
- 1. A "Tickle Me Elmo Doll" which allows you to vote in the next presidential election by squeezing the righthand or the lefthand.
- 2. You then stick a USB cable up its cloaca and the vote is registered online and compiled via my server where I tally the votes for a small but fair fee.
- 3. Votes which are "ambiguous" set off the self destruct button located inside the doll's nose thus ensuring a troublefree vote count.
- 4. Also, it would be illegal to sell these dolls to African Americans who live in Florida thus saving valuable time having to delete their names from the list later on.
What about a religious theme?
- 1. How about a Tickle Me Jesus Doll? This would be a hit with people who like to tickle others under the armpits.
- 2. Or a Tickle Me Devil Doll. This doll could cackle insanely for a couple of minutes, and then tell the owner to go to hell.
I am sure there are readers out there with their own suggestions.
Pretty good post :) funny, I would vote using Elmo for sure...
ReplyDeleteHowever, don't fall into the whole, America is one mentality, there are plenty of people here to both be crazy and stupid in all sorts of funny ways.
Cheers
RE logtar:
ReplyDeleteIt's ok, I am sure that all americans are not gun wielding maniacs, just like all australians don't wrestle crocodiles before breakfast.
Stupidity doesn't confine itself to America and Australia. It's a world-wide phenomenon which allows the majority to be controlled and manipulated by a tiny minority!
ReplyDeleteIsn’t it interesting how Switzerland’s crime rate is extremely low considering that almost every single male over 20 has had military training and owns a gun?
ReplyDeleteThat last one certainly conjure's an image Beep, I'm just not sure I needed it...:)
ReplyDeleteUm, what you don't see is the endless lines of people trying to buy these things. By Christmas, the lines will be out the door, people will fight, riots, chaos, and all for a doll, no wait, all for an annoying doll.
ReplyDeleteOn a recent trip to China, I was asked about America's gun culture. "Is it true Americans can buy guns at the same place they buy food?" - I had to answer yes, at Wal-Mart.
Um, what you don't see is the endless lines of people trying to buy these things. By Christmas, the lines will be out the door, people will fight, riots, chaos, and all for a doll, no wait, all for an annoying doll.
ReplyDeleteOn a recent trip to China, I was asked about America's gun culture. "Is it true Americans can buy guns at the same place they buy food?" - I had to answer yes, at Wal-Mart.
RE: under the mercy:
ReplyDeleteThis post wasn't a formal reproachment of "gun culture."
Though I do think the fascination with the ability to kill things to be a little odd, especialy in such a "Jesus worshipping culture."
This post was merely a lightheaded look at a very annoying doll.
I understand, sorry if I was to serious. Neither was I trying to make a "formal" defence, just pointing out an interesting fact.
ReplyDeleteOn a random note, if you get the chance could you try and read the gospel of John sometime.
RE under the mercy:
ReplyDeleteI have read most of the bible at different times in my life. The ancient writings about ancient gods is quite interesting. The ancient roman gods also make a fascinating study.
Of course, when I read about gods in ancient books, I don't believe in their literal existence, I do it out of interest to understand what ancient people's believed.
I mean just sitting down and reading it through with an open mind.
ReplyDeleteRE: under the mercy:
ReplyDeleteNever have your mind too open. All sorts of nasty, silly stuff might fall in there.
'Stralia? Wow!
ReplyDeleteBeen lotsa places. Hope beats eternal in the human heart, even
old ones.
Do you have as many Mosques as
we do? Don't know yet if they're
running at us, or away from a
Grand Ayatollah?
Comment? Record first name
and your town. reb
www.lazyonebenn.blogspot.com
RE: snake
ReplyDeleteI haven't noticed a lot of mosques. But most major cities have palces of worship for virtually any religious belief you can mention.
There is a huge buddhist temple and a large Taoist temple, but I don't remember seeing any large mosques. Must be some somewhere, they just don't stand out.
RE: beep
ReplyDeleteSuch as conviction, or belief?
RE: under the mercy:
ReplyDeleteNot sure what you mean regarding conviction or belief?
Conviction or belief in regards to what part of what argument?
Twas in reply to:
ReplyDelete"RE: under the mercy:
Never have your mind too open. All sorts of nasty, silly stuff might fall in there."
RE: under the mercy:
ReplyDeleteDo I think that conviction or belief might be some of the nasty. silly stuff that might fall into a mind that is "too open?"
Probably.
It depends on the conviction or the belief.