BEEP! BEEP! IT'S ME.

"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

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I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.

"DIFFICILE EST SATURAM NON SCRIBERE"

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Friday, May 25, 2007

'Praise the Lord' - Hill$ong Celebrates the National Day of Secularism

National Day of Secularism May the 26th




"Praise the Lord" - Hill$ong Parody - Brought to you by "The Chaser's War on Everything"


Introduction: - " Ladies and Gentlemen in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit let me hear you say "A - men." Let me hear you say "Praise the lord." Let me hear you say "I will empty the contents of my wallet into that little collection plate when it comes around. And it's all Tax free! Hallelujah! "


Lyrics: -
"Praise the lord for all the cash I've got. Praise him for my Rolls Royce and my yacht.


Serving god ain't hard with a credit card. Jesus died so I could make a lot.


Praise the lord he's made us millionaires. Wave your donations in the air.


We've replaced our hymns with ATMS. And soon we'll charge a fee on every prayer.


Jesus Christ was a poor man don't you know. He should have used our accountants for his cash flow.


Stop the sermon on the mount he should have had a bank account.


Two thousand years with interest he'd be rolling in the dough.


Praise the lord this song's out on CD just $40.95 plus GST.


Hallelujah plenty of moolah. Solid gold baubles on my christmas tree.


I've got all of heaven's riches thanks to all you stupid b*tches.


Praise the lord for modern christianity. Whoever said religion should be free."

~*~

Hillsong Church (formerly Hills Christian Life Centre) is a Pentecostal Christian church. Its primary location is in Australia where it is headquartered at its "Hills" campus near Castle Hill, to the north-west of Sydney in Baulkham Hills' Norwest Business Park.


The Hillsong Church has attracted support from high profile politicians, especially from the conservative Liberal Party of Australia. The Prime Minister, John Howard, opened its Baulkham Hills campus and the Federal Treasurer, Peter Costello, spoke at its annual conferences in July 2004 and 2005. Mark Latham, the former Leader of the Opposition, declined Hillsong's invitation to the 2004 conference, although Bob Carr, the then Premier of New South Wales, (from the Australian Labor Party), did attend the 2005 conference. The former New South Wales Liberal Party state director, Scott Morrison (to November 2004), is a prominent member of Hillsong Church.


The Anglican Bishop of Western Sydney, Ivan Lee, has expressed concern that the extreme emotion of Hillsong services could be manipulative and said that "... their worship is in danger of being experience-centred rather than Bible teaching-centred".


Of course it is manipulative. It wants people to have an emotional experience, which will encourage them to part with their cash.


In the Australian Constitution - Section 116 - (Commonwealth not to legislate in respect of religion), it states that: - "The Commonwealth shall not make any law for establishing any religion, or for imposing any religious observance, or for prohibiting the free exercise of any religion, and no religious test shall be required as a qualification for any office or public trust under the Commonwealth."


Unfortunately, the constitution doesn't say - "And no politician will kiss the arse of corporate religion in order to gain a few more votes."


Link

15 Comments:

Blogger Renegade Eye said...

Drive capitalism from the Earth, and God from the sky.

26/5/07 4:18 am  
Blogger Lexcen said...

You should give credit to The Chaser's War on Everything team.

26/5/07 8:20 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

renegade

I wouldn't go that far. ;) But I do find the idea of religion as a saleable product to be trashy. If religionists want to treat religion as a product to be sold to the community at a price, then they need to be treated like any other product and be subject to marketting and advertising laws.

26/5/07 9:46 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

lexcen

Yeah, I forgot to do that. I will add a link now.

26/5/07 9:47 am  
Blogger Plonka said...

Nice one Beep. Those guys are brilliant...:)

It's a shame that our constitution only stops the commonwealth from meddling in religious affairs and not the other way around.

26/5/07 10:35 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

plonka

Good point. Religious organizations seem to think it is ok for them to meddle in government AND they demand that government fund their religious corporations as well.

26/5/07 11:02 am  
Blogger Plonka said...

AND they demand that government fund their religious corporations as well

And let's not forget that they also demand to be able to do it all tax free.

26/5/07 3:21 pm  
Blogger Arthur_Vandelay said...

It's a shame that our constitution only stops the commonwealth from meddling in religious affairs and not the other way around.

Too few of us realise this.

26/5/07 7:34 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

arthur

Good point. I hadn't read that before. That is truly scary. It is an open door to rampant religious fundamentalism.

26/5/07 9:28 pm  
Blogger Dikkii said...

I could never get sick of seeing the Chaser boys doing that one.

Of course, If I got myself some broadband, I wouldn't have to spend all day waiting to see it.

27/5/07 6:39 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

dikki

Yeah. Youtube isn't very enjoyable without broadband.

27/5/07 10:41 pm  
Blogger Blueberry said...

So your Liberal Party is conservative? Obviously, "liberal" means something different there. Here in the USA, liberal and conservative have opposite meanings.

Maybe I should get back on the Jesus bandwagon. I really need money, and cars, and... stuff (plenty of moolah)

29/5/07 5:30 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

blueberry

Yes, the name of the conservative party is The Liberal Party. This is one reason why we don't hear the conservative propaganda of how the "liberals" are all terrible people who take drugs and watch porn. (Or whatever stupid stuff conservatives say about liberals.)

29/5/07 8:48 am  
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