BEEP! BEEP! IT'S ME.

"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

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I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.

"DIFFICILE EST SATURAM NON SCRIBERE"

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Fundies Cross Roads?


WARNING: Contains adult themes. Censor yourself.

Why Did The Fundie Cross The Road?

  1. She was going to meet her preacher at a motel across the road and audition for a missionary position.
  2. He wasn't sure why, so he stopped to pray about it and was hit by a church bus.
  3. Because, there were two blacks and a jew walking on her side of the road.
  4. She was on her way to partake in one of fundieism's most holy of rituals at the "The Big Hair Beauty Shop".
  5. To lay hands on that dead possum and heal it, if not, he had take home for supper.
  6. To find a better spot for his " I Hate Fags" sign.
  7. He was trying to walk off a boner that had arose while watching "The Passion of the Christ" for the fourth time.
  8. Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.
  9. Because he finally admitted to himself that he preferred the sexual company of men, and realized he'd have to either cross that road or live out the rest of his life in the closet.
  10. Because his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him his Fundie father before him and his fundie father before him and his fundie father before him ... always crossed the road.

(Please add your suggestions to why the fundie crossed the road. )

  • Because the North Star was on the other side of the road. (Thanks to The Atheist Jew)

PS: Remember, there are three religious truths:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian church.

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters

LINKS: ~

  1. Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
  2. Religious Satire and Humor
  3. Why Did The Fundie Cross The Road?

Link

4 Comments:

Anonymous Adam Scanlan said...

Hey Beep Beep,

Love that last one: "his fundie father before him..."

Says it all really. People always wonder why I question pointless traditions. This is why.

Great site by the way.

20/4/06 9:49 am  
Blogger Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

Because the North Star was on the other side of the road.

20/4/06 3:44 pm  
Blogger PopePiAss said...

Say Hey, Man

I don't mind you using "Why Did The Fundie Cross The Road???"

But, could you not give me some credit for coming up with this idea?

HoleyHands

http://groups.msn.com/WhyDidTheFundieCrossTheRoad/wdtfctr.msnw

12/8/06 6:20 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE popepiass:

All fixed.

23/8/06 12:06 pm  

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