BEEP! BEEP! IT'S ME.

"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

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I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.

"DIFFICILE EST SATURAM NON SCRIBERE"

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

Which Man Is Not A Religious Nut?


Gee, they all have beards, and we all know that beard-wearers are inherently evil. lol

Saddam Hussein : ~

"Allah is on our side. That is why we will beat the aggressor."
"God is on our side, and Satan is on the side of the United States."

Bin Laden:~

"The country of the Two Holy Places has in our religion a peculiarity of its own over the other Muslim countries. In our religion, it is not permissible for any non-Muslim to stay in our country."

"We--with God's help--call on every Muslim who believes in God and wishes to be rewarded to comply with God's order to kill the Americans and plunder their money wherever and whenever they find it. We also call on Muslim ulema, leaders, youths, and soldiers to launch the raid on Satan's U.S. troops and the devil's supporters allying with them, and to displace those who are behind them so that they may learn a lesson."

Mel Gibson: ~

"F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"

"There have been a lot of unusual things happening-good things like people being healed of diseases; a couple people have had their sight and hearing restored. There was even a little six year old girl (visiting the set) who had epilepsy since she was born and had up to fifty epileptic fits a day. She doesn't have them anymore, for over a month now."

There you have it. Politicians will use a citizen's religious beliefs as a political tool, as Saddam and Bin laden both appear to do.

And some people are just tools when they are drunk or sober, as in the case of Mel Gibson.



Link

15 Comments:

Anonymous disembedded said...

You've got a wonderful site !! Beautiful AND smart--a truly rare combination. Thanks for leaving a comment on my website, Et Cetera: Public and Privat Curiosities (http://disembedded.wordpress.com). I'm adding you to my link list, maybe you'll do the same? With very best wishes, disembedded.

18/9/06 12:24 pm  
Anonymous buridan said...

Trick question? Are any of them really men?

19/9/06 1:14 am  
Blogger urizon said...

Back in the '70s, "tool" was another name for a portion of the male anatomy. Strangely, I didn't see that one in the Urban Dictionary.

Sadly, my first comment, since deleted, was a bit of Spam. Yours was the second. Thanks for dropping by.

Nice snark, btw. We in the cyber-hinterlands must stick together, no?

19/9/06 3:25 am  
Anonymous Jones said...

Hi again, that'a smart and funny one!
Even though i think saddam wasn't a fundie, i think he was just a dictator using religion as a tool.
You're on my link list by the way (not that is going to make any difference for you, my blog is virtually secret). Glad u had a lough at the Pope shit.

19/9/06 3:47 am  
Anonymous Jones said...

Shit, i wrote the "tool thing" before reading the last part of your post...
We're definitely on the same wave length...
ah ah!

19/9/06 3:55 am  
Blogger Daniel said...

I think the Gibson debacle has very sinister overtones especially if contrasted with the non-reaction that would've occurred if he'd made the comments about Islam.

America is supposed to symbolise freedom of speech. Not so it seems.

19/9/06 7:14 am  
Blogger L said...

heh heh heh

19/9/06 12:09 pm  
Anonymous ted said...

I like Mel's beard. Gives him that glassy eyed fundo look.

I'm not so sure there would have been a "non-reaction" Daniel, but he definately would have had the support of the current administration, that's for sure...

19/9/06 12:22 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE daniel: There does appear to be a double standard. It seems socially acceptable to at least some, to diss islam as being violent and repressive, but the magnifying glass is rarely turned on christianity or judaism.

To be fair, Gibson was not commenting upon judaism, he was commenting upon the people who may or may not practice judaism.

But certainly his tirade would have been considered "hate speech" here.

19/9/06 12:31 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE buridan:

They all have beards.. Ok, we won't go there.

19/9/06 12:32 pm  
Anonymous olly said...

Dammit Beep, I HAVE A BEARD!! Am I a religious nutter?

Hmmm, let me see if I can get this right:

"Only through the power of JEBUS can your life be saved! JEBUS will pay your mortgage! JEBUS will heal your sick goat! JEBUS will save your soul, and your favorite pair of Nike's, from eternal HELL fire!!! PRAISE JEBUS!!"

Will that work? I need to live up to my beard after all!!!! :)

-olly

19/9/06 5:24 pm  
Blogger Arthur_Vandelay said...

There does appear to be a double standard. It seems socially acceptable to at least some, to diss islam as being violent and repressive, but the magnifying glass is rarely turned on christianity or judaism.

That's because Muslims are quite open about wanting to take over the world. Jews go about it secretly.

(N.B.: Tongue firmly planted in cheek!)

21/9/06 2:57 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE olly:
Doing a good job at living up to your beard again, I see ;)

21/9/06 6:12 am  
Anonymous reden said...

no way, Mel Gibson is not an atheist! who will he call when he is having an orgasm then? hehehe, great post by the way!

22/9/06 2:14 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE reden:
Personally I think it is extremely impolite to call out god's name during orgasm. Especially as it is may offend your actual sexual partner who may think you have forgotten their name. ;)

23/9/06 6:44 pm  

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