"For Whom The Bell Tolls"
~*~
By now we have probably all heard about the miraculous cure of Pastor Ted Haggard who was suffering from hypocrisy. Sorry, I mean homosexuality.
From: - Ted Haggard Says He Is Now "Completely Heterosexual"
"A fellow minister says the Reverend Ted Haggard has come out of intense counseling, convinced he's "completely heterosexual." The Reverend Tim Ralph, who was one of four ministers monitoring Haggard's progress, says the disgraced minister insists his extramarital activities were limited to the one man. And Ralph tells The Denver Post no one else came forward to deny that."
That's nice to know, Ted. I am glad that you think that because we only have evidence of one homosexual relationship that this is somehow evidence that you are heterosexual. Personally, being the skeptic that I am, I would suggest that you probably have, or had, quite a stash of "Gay Magazines" secreted somewhere as well. Perhaps that is also where the meth you bought ended up? But then, who are we to deny you a bit of meth and man ass on a Sunday before you rail against the evils of homosexuality and drug taking? Who are we to complain about you telling your parishioners, (and anyone else who would listen), that they were going to burn for eternity in excrutiating pain and anguish because they dared to physically love another man? I think you are a charlatan, a poseur, a liar and a hypocrite. Don't ask me what I think about you on a "bad day."
Now, of course because Ted says he is "cured" we should just take this on faith. I don't think so.... As a person who prefers evidence over faith, I suggest that you submit yourself to "THE BELL TEST." That is, we sit you down and tie a small bell around your willy. You will then be shown pictures of attractive, naked, men cavorting for your viewing pleasure. And if that little bell starts a-ringing Ted, we will know for whom the bell tolls. It will be tolling for that naked cute man ass on the screen.
"A fellow minister says the Reverend Ted Haggard has come out of intense counseling, convinced he's "completely heterosexual." The Reverend Tim Ralph, who was one of four ministers monitoring Haggard's progress, says the disgraced minister insists his extramarital activities were limited to the one man. And Ralph tells The Denver Post no one else came forward to deny that."
That's nice to know, Ted. I am glad that you think that because we only have evidence of one homosexual relationship that this is somehow evidence that you are heterosexual. Personally, being the skeptic that I am, I would suggest that you probably have, or had, quite a stash of "Gay Magazines" secreted somewhere as well. Perhaps that is also where the meth you bought ended up? But then, who are we to deny you a bit of meth and man ass on a Sunday before you rail against the evils of homosexuality and drug taking? Who are we to complain about you telling your parishioners, (and anyone else who would listen), that they were going to burn for eternity in excrutiating pain and anguish because they dared to physically love another man? I think you are a charlatan, a poseur, a liar and a hypocrite. Don't ask me what I think about you on a "bad day."
Now, of course because Ted says he is "cured" we should just take this on faith. I don't think so.... As a person who prefers evidence over faith, I suggest that you submit yourself to "THE BELL TEST." That is, we sit you down and tie a small bell around your willy. You will then be shown pictures of attractive, naked, men cavorting for your viewing pleasure. And if that little bell starts a-ringing Ted, we will know for whom the bell tolls. It will be tolling for that naked cute man ass on the screen.
"Meth and Man Ass"
ted haggard , homosexuality , hypocrisy , satire , humor , humour , meth and man ass
PS: It has been further suggested by The Atheist Jew that there is a test which Ted Haggard would probably pass. To see what this test is, click on the youtube production below.
The Test which Ted Haggard might pass from :- Mel Brooks: "History Of The World Pt.1"
(I have to say that this movie has remained my favourite movie ever since it came out. If I ever want to have a laugh, it is the movie I watch.)
posted by beepbeepitsme | 12:13 pm
11 Comments:
I'm sure they must have administered the bell test. They are quite convinced, and what other test is there? {grin}
The guy really has no shame. Why didn't he just shut up and go away - say to the Castro District of San Francisco? But no, he has to concoct some idiot story about being cured of his butthole surfing proclivities - in 2 weeks no less! Who ndoes he think he is fooling?
Fantastic Beep...:)
I was thinking about an entry on this lad myself. Do you mind if I point people to this?
I might change my name too. Reading all about "Ted" had my 15 year old son rolling with laughter. The man really is a hypocrite of the highest order. But then, so was Bakker, Swaggart......
Fantastic, this is the proof (if anyone still need any) that you can feed any kind of bullshit to this kind of devoute xtians.
RE blueberry
It reminds me of the Pavlov's Dogs experiments. Except the dogs were trained to associate food with the ringing of a bell.
RE larry
I agree. I don't think that people like Haggard have a sense of shame. Except that he probably thinks it was a shame he was caught..
RE ted:
No worries. Refer them here if you would like to. I don't mind the advertisement. ;)
RE jones:
Some conmen really stand out. I think Haggard is one of those.
I overheard this on the Daly Show:
"Well, as to Haggard. Remember when your father caught you smoking a cigarette, & to cure you of it, he made you smoke them all in a row?
Haggard's been a busy, busy boy."
(paraphrased)
KA: Watched that one myself yesterday, it was a scream...:)
I think Haggard would pass this test though.
As long as he didn't look to the side.
Haggard is so going to come out in the next year or two, I can feel it.
Either that or he'll get caught smoking again, if you know what I mean, and I'm sure you do.
(Nods in the general direction of KA, cue's Mister Richard Smoker by Ween)
RE dikki
I think that what homosexuals need to do if they want to be part of religious faiths which consider homosexuality a sin, is to leave.
They shouldn't try to hide in the church and pretend they are something they are not. Especially if they have positions of power in those churches and they are preaching about one thing and doing the other.
What they need to do, if they feel compelled to believe in a religion, is to join a church which is accepting of homosexuals.
Personally, I wouldn't stay in an organization that considered me to be an abomination.
I would flip them the "2 to the valley sign" pretty quickly and be off like a bride's nightie.
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