"They Seek Him Here, They Seek Him There.."

"They seek him here, they seek him there, those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven or is he in hell? That damned elusive Pimpernel." - The Scarlet Pimpernel - Sir Percy Blakeney

I would like to share with you today some of the search parameters which have been typed in search engines and have lead people to my blog. It's amazing what people type into search engines and expect as a result, to find information specific to their search requirements. I have absolutely no idea what some of these people were actually searching for when their search enquiries lead them to my blog. But, I would like to suggest a few examples. The moral of this story, is to define your search, or you will be lead to places which exist in parallel universes which require the use of a babelfish in at least one ear in order to make sense of your surroundings. By the way, if you see one of your searches listed, "DON'T PANIC" as the "Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy" never reveals its sources.

LIST OF SEARCHES AND SUGGESTED REASONS AS TO WHY THEY WERE DIRECTED TO MY BLOG.

1. mark of the beast for atheists
(This must refer to the oversized Darwinfish which I had tattooed on my left bum cheek. Word of advice: The beast always prefers that you tattoo the left bum cheek rather than the right as the right is for the hand of god. Smacks god's hand off my right bum cheek. )

2. itch in butt
(This search had me slightly bewildered until I realized that they meant to search for "pain in butt" rather than "itch in butt." Nonetheless, my expansive metatag source directed the search here anyway.)

3. mary had a little lamb
(What the!! How did you know my name was Mary? And I deny the lamb thing... Anyway Aries said that he used protection. Damn those randy male constellations.)

4. nude male
(Where?)

5. invisible egg
(Once again "where?" It is invisible, no good searching for it here.)

6. most billionaires are atheists
(But not this atheist.)

7. little engine that could
(Obviously related to: - The little search engine that couldn't find the "little engine that could" on this blog.)

8. understanding pulp fiction
(Success. They obviously came to the right place. Passes them a babelfish.)

9. Amen-Ra golden showers
(Excuse me but I think that a god's sex life should remain private. I am not a conservative busybody after all.)

10. William Lamb the psychic
(Uh oh - Looks like Aries is back and he is demanding that I pay him for that astrology session.)

11. benny hinn enema
(Yes, I recommend an enema for him too. You gotta pass those poop demons somehow.)

12. babel babel bitch bitch marilyn manson lyrics
(Yes, I do babble on a bit but it is Ms Bitch to you and Marilyn sends his love.)

13. hijacker guide through the galaxy
(That's right, your search has been hijacked here. Mwwahaahahah.)

14. keep your jesus off my penis
(I insist that jesus do that. I also insist that if jesus loves me, that he wears a condom.)

15. gay music
(I demand happy music at all times. La la la la la :) )

16. Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me
(How many devils has the dude got? And are any of them rich and cute?)

17. Homosexuality in the Ancient Near East, beyond Egypt semen in lettuce
(Semen in lettuce? Is this the egyptian vegetarian version of "American Pie?")

18. shakira's objection tango video is shit
(Hahahaha. I know.)

19. women who worship the penis
(Keep searching... )

20. quran unintelligible bernard shaw
( I agree and Bernard agrees with me.)

Hitchhiker's Guide - Don't Panic!

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