"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

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Location: Australia

I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.


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Friday, July 14, 2006

To Be A Bush, Or To Be A Bushism? That Is The Question.

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Image: "George As The Burning Bush"
My Favourite Bushisms

I have provided a title so Bush Believers will also be able to understand what the rest of us are laughing about.

George Is A Mom?
"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well."—St. Louis, Jan. 5, 2004

What about the WMD the US Has, George?
"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

Maybe He Meant "Explore"?
"We've got hundreds of sites to exploit, looking for the chemical and biological weapons that we know Saddam Hussein had prior to our entrance into Iraq."—Santa Clara, Calif., May 2, 2003

George Wants To Restore Chaos. Mission Completed
"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos. But we will."—Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003

We Must Invade Iraq To Stop Saddam Terrorising Himself.
"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself."—Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

This Is Just Wrong On So Many Levels. How About Presumption Of Innocence And "Prosecute" Not "Persecute"
"When Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried, and persecuted as a war criminal."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 22, 2003

The US Is Going To Disarm If Saddam Doesn't
"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."—Speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002

Why George? Thinking About Pulling Out The Klan Outfit?
"Do you have blacks, too?"—To Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

George Wanted Arafat To Rule The World
"After all, a week ago, there were—Yasser Arafat was boarded up in his building in Ramallah, a building full of, evidently, German peace protestors and all kinds of people. They're now out. He's now free to show leadership, to lead the world."—Washington, D.C., May 2, 2002

George Gives Us A Hint Why His Businesses Have Gone Bankrupt
"We've tripled the amount of money—I believe it's from $50 million up to $195 million available."—Lima, Peru, March 23, 2002

George Doesn't Want Peace To Happen
"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the—in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen."—Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."—Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000

Ummm It Is A Federal Program?
"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."—St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

Fish Are Violent Apparently
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."—Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

Most Imports DO Come From Overseas
"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."—Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000

George Loves His Wife Like He Loves His Brother
"She is a fabulous First Lady. I was a lucky man when she said, yes, I agree to marry you. I love her dearly, and I'm proud of the job she's doing on behalf of all Americans. Just like I love my brother." - George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sep. 9, 2003

The Nazis Agree With You About Propaganda
"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --President Bush, Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

Please Shut Up Now
"Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" —George W. Bush, at the white House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005

I Am Begging You. Shut Up
"I think — tide turning — see, as I remember — I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of — it's easy to see a tide turn — did I say those words?" —George W. Bush, asked if the tide was turning in Iraq, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

"The point now is how do we work together to achieve important goals. And one such goal is a democracy in Germany." —George W. Bush, D.C., May 5, 2006

George Wants To Control Us Not Defend Freedom
"Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." —George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

And My All Time Favourite
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." — George W. Bush, Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004


The Best Of Bushisms



Blogger Caribou said...

The really sad thing about Bushism's is that his loyal following and admirers think his verbal missteps are cute and reflect his down home, just one of the people side. They can't or don't want to see that he is simply just an idiot.

Or, maybe I'm way off in left field on this.

Perhaps, a more likely scenario is that his handlers (the true power in the White House): Rove, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Wolfowitz, among others invisible, know he's a moron and that is why he was chosen to be the anointed one, the puppet leader.

I don't think they predicted that Bush wouldn’t keep his mouth shut and can’t keep to the script. His idiocy backfired in their face, so they rewrote the script to portray him as just simple folk.

14/7/06 9:11 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE caribou:


Simple folk who want simple solutions for complex problems vote for simpletons.

15/7/06 8:11 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Bush had higher marks in college than Kerry. I can find the link if anyone wants to challenge me on it.....

15/7/06 12:20 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Bush had higher marks in lying, deception, political expediency, economic whore-mongering and faith based WMD.

16/7/06 1:20 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

No, actually he is just academically smarter than John Kerry. Believe me, he is not as dumb as the left likes to think........

16/7/06 9:09 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Sorry, the man isn't smart. Diabolical? Evil? Diabolically evil?

Intellectually powerful? Not even during a blue moon.

16/7/06 10:33 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

No, he's not evil either. That's just silly....

18/7/06 12:21 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Re the troll:

Human beings are potentially evil.

Afterall, "evil" is a characteristic of human beings, not supernatural beings.

It just depends on what you consider "evil" to be.

I consider the promotion of pre-emptive war as a legitimate form of defence to be evil. If you can't deal with that, too bad.

18/7/06 10:13 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Evil is certainly a supernaturally induced state. We are not born evil. Not even one of us.....

18/7/06 12:47 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

Re the troll:

There is insufficient evidence for a the supernatural. The existence of the supernatural is part of a "belief system".

I do not have a belief that the supernatural exists. You do.

Human beings created the word "evil" and then went on to pretend that evil exists OUTSIDE of themselves.

A classic case of projection methinks.

18/7/06 1:50 pm  

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