"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

My Photo
Location: Australia

I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.


Beepbeepitsme has been added to The Atheist Blogroll. You can see the blogroll in my sidebar. The Atheist blogroll is a community building service provided free of charge to Atheist bloggers from around the world. If you would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts.

Subscribe to BEEP! BEEP! IT'S ME

Thursday, August 31, 2006

“Philosophy is the science which considers truth”

Watch : ~ Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl - Philospher's Song

The Philosophers' Drinking Song Lyrics : ~

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as
There's nothing
Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'
Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a
bugger when he's pissed.



Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Spare the Quarter-Inch Plumbing Supply Line, Spoil the Child

Illustration by Mignon Khargie /

Saying no to "timeouts," some fundamentalist Christians "train up" their children by carefully hitting them with switches, PVC pipes and other "chastening instruments."

As a young, new, Christian parent, Meggan Judge, 26, of Anchorage, Alaska, was looking for guidance in raising "Godly children." She found advice that clicked for her when a friend loaned her a popular -- and controversial -- Christian parenting book called "To Train Up a Child," written in 1994 by Tennessee pastor Michael Pearl with his wife, Debi, who claim to have raised five "whineless" children.

Neither Pearl has advanced training in child development or a related field. "These truths," the tall, white-beaded Michael Pearl, 60, writes in his book, "are not new, deep insights from the professional world of research, but rather, the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules, the same technique God uses to train his children."

What is this connection some god believers have with pain and suffering and righteousness? Ooops. I forgot. When your charismatic leader is someone who is tortured to death for someone else's "sins" , it is obvious how you can get a little screwed up about morality.

Apparently it is moral to: ~
  • conduct proxy killings. That is, kill a person who didn't commit the crime in lieu of punishing the real offender.
  • believe in collective punishment. That is, punish every man, woman and child for the crime of a supposed ancient ancestor.
  • believe that pain is the invisible friend's way of showing how much he cares about you.

Pretty screwed up stuff, if you ask me.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod
of correction will drive it far from him." — Proverbs 22:15

"I feel it’s my obligation to whip him. In the name of the Lord of course. I feel it’s my obligation to whip him, and if I can’t do it then I look up some of my athletes to help me." - Jerry Falwell


Monday, August 28, 2006

Are You An Atheist Or An Agnostic?

I am compiling a blogroll of atheists and agnostics. Do you consider yourself to be in either of these categories? And if so, would you like to be added to the blogroll?

Please leave a reply here.


Sunday, August 27, 2006

Embrace Your Inner Monkey

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Lyrics: ~

You're designed so intelligent
Ain't no way that was an accident
C'mon shake your monkey hips
My pretty little creationist
Oh yeah!
Ain't gonna anthropomorphise you
Or perversely polymorphisise you - yeah
Little girl you look so sweet
You gotta dance like a monkey, dance like a monkey, child
You just started ten thousand years ago
Presto Adam and Eve and go man go
Abel died, Cain took his life
And headed straight to the jungle to find a wife - wow!
Non-believers blame it all on apes
It's monkey time - I want to see you shake
Evolution is obsolete
You gotta dance like a monkey, dance like a monkey, child
Stomp your hands and clap your feet
You gotta dance like a monkey, dance like a monkey, child
Oh one more time yo!It's monkey time!!
C'mon pretty baby, won't you take a chance?
Be my natural selection, dance dance dance
Exorcise your demons with that monkey grin
'Cause we're gonna inherit the wind

The song, 'Dance Like a Monkey' has lots of clever references to the evolution/creationism/intelligent design 'debate.' In the video clip, the monkeys in an evolutionary science exhibit break out and cause chaos in the museum, all to teach an intelligent designer to embrace her inner monkey.
Part of it is based on the Darwin exhibit at the NY Museum of Natural History. The Flying Spaghetti Monster also makes an appearance as it is in some ways the mascot of the anti-intelligent designers (as well as Pastafarians).

"Cone in infirmo vestri monachus hips meus pulchellus parum creationist"


Saturday, August 26, 2006

What Is Your Political Compass?

As you can see by this grid, I am closest in political opinion to Gandi.

Take the test: ~ What Is Your Political Compass?

This is the grid which shows the political positions of some modern leaders. On this chart, I am closest in opinion to the Dalai Lama. I figure I am in good company.

What is really comforting about my position on the grid, is the fact that I am about as far away from all the people whom I consider to be lunatics. I am enjoying the fact that George and Johnny are much nearer to being fascists and Hitler lovers than I am. I am a long way away from ALL of the authoritarian bossy buggers including Stalin. Life is good. Sweet :)



"Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life."


Thursday, August 24, 2006

"Keep You Doped With Religion And Sex And TV"

John Lennon's lyrics, "Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV and you think you're so clever and classless and free" is a comment upon the effects and affects of popular culture and the myths created by it. The song, "Working Class Hero" was written by John and appeared first on the album, John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band in 1970.
John Lennon was born in Liverpool which was a major industrial centre. During the 20th century, Liverpool lost most of its manufacturing base and was in economic decline. It is still one of the poorest areas of Britain. So to be from Liverpool was to be working class. John became "The Working Class Hero" or the popular cultural hero for the working class. He was someone who escaped his roots, but who recognised how his roots and culture shaped him.
I am also an observer of popular culture. Not only an observer, but someone who attempts to examine and analyse popular culture. Popular culture, or "pop culture" is literally "the culture of the people" as apposed to the "high culture" of the elite. The culture of the elite might be considered that approved of by the courts, the nobility, patricians or the rich bourgeoisie.
The culture of the people consists of the cultural elements that prevail in any given society. Most modern popular culture has its origins in and is modelled through the mass media of:
  • music,
  • film,
  • television,
  • radio,
  • video,
  • books
  • and the internet.

There is a set of industries which make profit by inventing and promulgating cultural material. The mass media is perhaps the most successful and powerful industry which promotes pop culture and other cultural, political and religious memes.


Popular culture creates the myths which are politically, socially, religiously, or economically useful to the given culture of their origin. A myth, in popular use, or in popular culture is something that is widely believed but probably false. So popular culture helps create and spread the myths we most want to believe about ourselves. Cultural myths are the lies a society tells itself or believes in, in order to reinforce, preserve and strengthen the religious, political, social or economic group.
Some of these popular myths may include: ~
  • Our form of government is the best.
  • Our nation has the best of all cultures.
  • Our culture has the one true religion.
  • Our heroes are truly heroic.
  • Our group is the most intelligent.
  • Our economic system is the best.
  • Any other system but ours is evil.
  • Without our religion there would be no morality.

Etc etc etc

Ad Nauseum

The cult of hero worship is also part of our modern popular culture. It is a cultural meme which fulfills a purpose in a society of animals which are, by nature, hierarchical. I suggest that we are hierarchical by nature because human society mimics our origins. Like the other hominids, we are pack animals with complex hierarchies.
The active beings in myths are generally gods and heroes. So it could be suggested that a basis of religion is hero worship. Hero worship is the creation of an ideal person, usually male, who has the characteristics and attributes to which others can aspire. This hero models the characteristics which are most favoured by his respective culture. Whereas the anti-hero might exhibit the characteristics and attributes which are seen in a less culturally favourable light, or those which might be considered a negative influence.
A cult hero can metamorphose from cult hero to anti-hero depending on chronology and geo-political climate. The juxtaposition of hero and anti-hero is a classic example of the false dichotomy and logical fallacy of "good Vs evil". This cult of the hero helps to create and perpetuate the complex hierarchies of humans by providing a model of behaviours which are approved of by a specific culture or cultures.
We are regularly exposed to cult heroes and anti-heroes via popular music.
For example: ~
Marilyn Manson's version of "Personal Jesus" makes an artistic comment on the cult of hero worship, and John Lennon's "Working Class Hero" makes a political comment about being a cult hero for the working class. Both songs are part of popular culture and both make comment upon the cult of hero worship. "Personal Jesus" is about the creation of cultural heros which take on the persona of gods. That is, they are cultural or political heros which are, at least in a figurative sense, worshipped. Whereas, "Working Class Hero" speaks of the political and social struggle of the poor and disenfranchised.
In "Working Class Hero" John suggests that popular culture acts as a drug. It keeps the masses doped, compliant, obedient and for most of the time, relatively happy. Popular culture acts as a conduit for Plato's Noble Lie. It is the suggestion to the mass of people that they are not responsible for their lot in life, but that it is part of god's plan for them.
So if you are born in poverty, like John, it was god's will. In other words, don't complain, don't ask for more, and be accepting of your lot in life. Your destiny was set at the time of birth according to god's will when he placed either gold, silver or bronze in your heart. Education and civil liberties or "Liberty, Equality and Fraternity" have been rationally denied to the working class throughout history based on the belief that people's station in life was designed by god. Plato's "Noble Lie" has been a popular cultural religious myth for centuries. Therefore to be a "working class hero" like John Lennon sang about, was to go against the odds, to be an anomaly.
Popular culture is not only a reflection of itself but it also contributes to the creation and promotion of itself. It therefore shapes the culture and is shaped BY the culture in which it is active. Popular culture acts as an envelope of societal approved practices and also as a mirror of societal habits, beliefs and practices. Popular culture helps to create the "Sweet Little Lies" which we so willingly wish to believe about ourselves.

"Working Class Hero" ~ The lyrics: ~

As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they are telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

If you want to be a hero well just follow me
If you want to be a hero well just follow me



Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Scientists Find Brain Evolution Gene

Scientists believe they have found a key gene that helped the human brain evolve from our chimp-like ancestors. In just a few million years, one area of the human genome seems to have evolved about 70 times faster than the rest of our genetic code. It appears to have a role in a rapid tripling of the size of the brain's crucial cerebral cortex, according to an article published Thursday in the journal Nature.

What Kind of Monkey Are You? - Quizz

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Apparently I gotta learn to sling poo.

I thought that was what I do in here?



Monday, August 21, 2006

Original Sin And God's Plan

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Transcript from the video:

"First. A lot of christians have told me lately that something can't come from nothing. If that is true, then where did god come from? Also, how could god create the universe from scratch when there was just a void? You know. Nothing. It just doesn't make sense. It's like they're wrong on two points. But that's not really what I was going to talk about today. I was going to talk about something that really does confuse me.

I mean first of all, god is good, right? I mean, he loves us?
So let me see if I understand this correctly. God created this paradise. Plants, a garden called eden, stocked with animals, adam, eve, the whole shabang. Now adam and eve are total innocents. They have no idea of what right and wrong is. Mainly because they haven't eaten from the tree of good and evil. And god tells adam that he is going to surely die if he eats from the tree. So how can adam and eve even know what death is as they have never experienced it as no one has ever died before? More importantly, how can they know that it is wrong to disobey god when they don't even know right from wrong?

So, because two innocents disobeyed god, without even understanding the consequences of what they were doing; god punishes NOT just them, but all of their decendants for about four thousand years. How is this a forgiving, loving, benevolent being? For about four thousand years, humanity carried god's punishment, so called ORIGINAL SIN. Then, after several thousand years, god finally decides to forgive us. Ok great. I mean four thousand years is a long time to hold a grudge. And I am still pretty uneasy about being punished for something my ancestor did. But hey, at least god could finally let it go.

God just doesn't announce that everything is forgiven. God impregnates a young girl and she gives birth to his son, Jesus Christ. God's plan is to have a specially born son purposefully tortured and killed. And only THEN will he forgive us. Let me re-emphasize this.
God's plan to forgive us after punishing us for over four thousand years, for what our ancestors did, is to send his son down to earth and have us purposefully TORTURE AND KILL him. What kind of loving, benevolent being would want an innocent person, let alone his own son, tortured and killed in order to forgive someone else?

Can you imagine, I mean what it must feel like to have your dad send you down to be purposefully tortured and killed? I just can't even imagine what that would feel like. I mean it definitely doesn't sound like a loving father. People say that Jesus died for our sins. But I wonder why a kind, loving and forgiving god would require that?
So I guess what I am asking is this ~ Why couldn't god just forgive us? He was the one who cursed us and punished us in the first place. Why would he require a blood sacrifice so he could forgive us? I just think it sounds utterly insane."


Discover Your Sins - Click Here

Sloth:Very High
Envy:Very Low

Your sin has been measured. You have committed many sins, but Sloth is the mortal sin that has done you in. Just below, discover your full sinful breakdown and learn what it is about you that codemns you to hell.

Quote from The Devil's Dictionary

original sin : - the bitter and persistent aftertaste of knowledge.


Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Dusty Old Book In The Library - The Bible

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Watch on youtube: ~ Ricky Gervais - The Bible
PS: I am going on holiday for about a week. So any of you who read my blog will have to be controversial without me.
~ May your thinking processes expand in order to surpass your blind belief paradigms, and may Darwin bless you with many beneficial genetic mutations. ~


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

"Sieg Meow"

"Sieg Meow"
Image from: Cats That Look Like Hitler

From: ~ Fresh Pics ~ Hitler Cats
Some notable people who disliked cats:
  • Napoleon Bonaparte ~ Napoleon was once found sweating with fear and lunging wildly with his sword at the tapestry-covered walls. The source of his fear was a small kitten.
  • Dwight D. Eisenhower ~ Eisenhower's loathing for cats was so great, he gave his staff orders to shoot any seen on the grounds of his home.
  • Adolf Hitler ~ Adolf Hitler liked dogs, he had a German shepherd called Blondi.
  • Johannes Brahms ~ One of Brahm's favourite forms of relaxation was to sit at an open window and attempt to kill neighbourhood cats with a bow and arrow.

Their dislike of cats is proof definitive that these people are inherently evil. I have my own "pet theory", (pardon the pun), as to why people dislike cats, but more of that at another time.

Some notable people who liked cats:
  • Victor Hugo ~ He was considered the greatest author in the history of French literature, wrote fondly in his diary about his cats.
  • Edward Lear ~ He was known for writing the famous limerick 'The Owl and the Pussy Cat'. Lear was devoted to his cat named Foss.
  • Abraham Lincoln ~ Abraham Lincoln's cat, Tabby, was the first of several White House cats.
  • Mark Twain ~ He kept eleven cats at his farm in Connecticut.
  • Michel de Montaigne ~ “When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her?”

Their love of cats is proof definitive that these people are inherently good. Now that I have that out of the way, why do people define themselves as "dog lovers" or "cat lovers" and why is this such a dogmatic, (pardon the pun), and passionate position for some people?


"Praise be to thee, O Ra, exalted Sekhem, thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the gods and the judge of words and the president of the sovereign chiefs and the governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed the bodies of the Great Cat." - Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes


Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Marilyn Manson And The cULT oF hERo wOrShIp

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Is Marilyn Manson in danger of being the cult figure of his songs?
Is Marilyn Manson YOUR "Personal Jesus"?
Watch as Marilyn Manson sings about the cult of hero worship.

Hero worship has existed when humans have a need to worship someone or something "greater than" or with more perceived authority than themselves. Whether people choose to worship a god-like supernatural figure (like Jesus), a political figure like Hitler, a musician like Marilyn Manson, a hero figure from a movie, or the movie stars themselves; the concept is the same. People want to look up to someone else who displays through actions or words, an ideal, a noble path or traits worth emulating.

I think this behaviour is basic and perhaps a genetic predisposition in herd animals. Herd or pack animals display complex hierarchies where individuals learn the pecking order. They learn the pecking order, change the pecking order, become social outcasts, or die.

Challenges to the hierarchies continually occur concerning the things which are of the most importance or status to the group. Consequently challenges to win the "hearts and minds" of those who exist within a group are crucial for individuals who wish to increase their status within the group.

Increasing your status means you have more access to the things which the group places value on, such as sex, power and money. Increasing your status may also lead to increasing your chances of survival and hence the survival of your genes.

If the meaning of biological life is the continuation of an individual's genes, then it behoves one to choose their cult/hero figures wisely. For example: Those who worship martyrdom lose in the genetic race for survival if they die before passing on their genetic code.

It seems plausible and realistic that we "worship", (or attempt to emulate our religious/cultural heros), because our heroes provide models of behaviour which may be beneficial for the good of the community or the society in which we live.

In hominid societies, it is the alpha male who seeks power over his fellow males and it is the characteristics of the alpha male which are the most valued. The authority of the alpha male (leading male) can always be questioned by an individual who seeks to usurp the dominant male in order to wield the power for themselves and their progeny. This competition for resources and power is potentially the most destabilising force on our planet.

A way to combat the constant bickering and quests for power and domination within a group, is to create an authority which is external to the group, whose authority can NEVER be questioned.

(An invisible alpha male, if you will, who embodies all the characteristics and laws of culture which the society trusts, values and aspires to.) This invisible alpha male becomes the ultimate and absolute authority and the ultimate in hero or cult worship. The creation of the invisible alpha male is an attempt to create "societal or cultural glue."

Internal disputes can be settled by appeals to the "wisdom" of this external invisible hero of worship. Appeals to the wisdom of this external invisible hero are usually made through human intermediaries.
Those who claim "special powers" or "special knowledge" concerning the wants or needs of these invisible entities are priests, pastors, shamans, saints etc etc. These intermediary positions are also positions of considerable power and have been claimed by kings, queens, popes, and political leaders for centuries.
Problems arise when cultures who have a similar interest in power and resources, have a different, but oh SO SIMILAR paradigm for conflict resolution. That is, they also have an invisible alpha male who embodies all that they see as wonderful about THEIR culture.
"Happy is the country which requires no heroes," Bertolt Brecht.

"Personal Jesus"

Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus...
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out and touch faith
Your own personal Jesus
Reach out and touch faith



Monday, August 07, 2006

Are You The Antichrist? Test Here...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

George Walker Bush IS the Antichrist! Here's proof: Write "George Walker Bush" as separate words. Transliterate the result into Hebrew: גיערגי ולכיר בוש.

Alternately add and subtract the numerical values of the letters in each word, then take the absolute value of the result. Add together the numerical values of each word.

The result is
616! Did you know that in the earliest manuscripts of the Bible 616 is the number of the beast? It's true! Plus, wouldn't it make perfect sense for the Enemy to disguise his true face all these years by getting people to believe in the wrong Bible? Don't be deceived! Now you have absolute PROOF that George Walker Bush is the Antichrist!

From Anonymoses : ~
What Would The Antichrist Do ?

Beatitudes of the Antichrist

  • Blessed are the arrogant: for theirs is the Kingdom of Selfishness.
  • Blessed are the strong, for they will dominate the earth.
  • Blessed are they who cause mourning: for they shall spread discomfort.
  • Blessed are they who thwart justice: for they shall get away with it.
  • Blessed are the merciless: for they shall obtain money.
  • Blessed are the mean: for they shall ignore God.
  • Blessed are the warmakers: for they shall be called the children of Satan.
  • Blessed are they that persecute for injustice' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of Hell.

What would the Antichrist do? He would start wars, kill people, be haughty and arrogant, ignore the poor, send the poor and downtrodden off to die in his war for Mammon and self-aggrandizement.

He would lie, cheat and steal to get his way. He would pollute and denigrate the environment, and the people who depend on it. He would bury the truth, and spin, spin, spin.

He would not walk among but poor, but rather wall himself away from them. Washington is full of candidates for the position of Antichrist-in-Chief, and many are willing lackeys for sub-positions.

Too bad God is dead, because he or she would have had a field day throwing these mousy little antichrists out on their ass. And yet there they sit. Asses as wide as Texas.