BEEP! BEEP! IT'S ME.

"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

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I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.

"DIFFICILE EST SATURAM NON SCRIBERE"

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Are You Religious?

You are an Atheist

When it comes to religion, you're a non-believer (simple as that).You prefer to think about what's known and proven.You don't need religion to solve life's problems.Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy.
Do the test and find out.
~~~
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious."
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
~~~
LINKS:~


Link

17 Comments:

Anonymous olly said...

Brilliant. :)

-olly

19/7/06 8:13 am  
Anonymous olly said...

OH, and when I did the religon test, it said I was a communist, I think I clicked the wrong link! ;)

-olly

19/7/06 8:15 am  
Blogger Dikkii said...

No surprises for me:

You are Agnostic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.
For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.
You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.
And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.


Great stuff, Beep. Pretty fair description, really, although some of this overlaps with "apathetic".

19/7/06 10:41 am  
Blogger SINCRONIA said...

I result agnostic. (not very commited, Dawkings shall say)
Deriving from Quinn and talking about God, evolution and future scenarios, you got to know about the 30 theses of Jason Godesky.(Quinns theories develope)

I made a post, because Anthropologist point of view is always wird. It's also interesting how he converted since the christian fundementalism into a . . . "shamanic faith". You can read it in his autobiografy at: http://anthropik.com/2005/02/my-catholic-faith
What do you think about his very last phrase;

"Of course, my interpretations are heretical, but when the text is so clear and straightforward, any other interpretation seems deceitful. My Jesus is a Gnostic Christ; my G-d is a pantheistic deity; my faith is shamanic. It isn't a conventional creed by any stretch of the imagination, but don't mistake me for irreligious simply because you have no name for my religion."

I guess, we can say; Theist???

19/7/06 11:37 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE olly: ty :)

RE: dikki~ yup, I agree, no surprises for you.

RE : sincronia
I guess you are a theist if you believe in a god.

19/7/06 10:51 pm  
Anonymous Pablo said...

I got Atheist... Surprise, surprise!!! I won't tell my neighbors, they'd kill me here in Georgia, USA!!!

20/7/06 12:28 am  
Blogger SINCRONIA said...

About me, Yes. In a transition state I think. (don't know exactly to where)that's why I rather be kind of aghnostic.

About J. Godesky, is theist too of course. Althought a special, wird and tikitikitikiwoo one. (as you could say) In the bottom, I would say that he really is an atheist with a huge hope and self confidence.

But when you read his thesis 26; COLLAPSE IS INEVITABLE, you may need some extra help to digest the apocaliptic news. Specially if you have just brought a pair of precious children to the world. (notice Australia is also in the collapse map)
I hope his wrong, but seems to me is a serious work.

I know there is no way to compare atheism with a religion, but as a kind of ideology . . . Do you think is possible to fall into a Theism position up to the level of fundamentalism?? At the point that for example, me a Theist, in transition, may not talk as friend with an atheist like you?

As I think a sort of fundamentalism would be when you close every other door than yours, then: NO, Atheist like you always keep open doors although just for take a look through.

the Godeskys thesis 26: http://anthropik.com/2006/01/thesis-26-collapse-is-inevitable/

20/7/06 12:43 am  
Blogger Matthew said...

Great joke. The funny thing about it all is that it could actually happen! We all know religions have been fighting for a long time yet, they still haven't killed one another off. You think we'd finally get some piece from this crap. Perhaps if we handed them a knife they'd accidentally stab themselves in the leg trying to cut open a letter or something.

21/7/06 2:11 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE matthew: The history of religious beliefs suggests that they prefer to stab each other in the leg, though whipping of self has been encouraged by some religions as well.

Either way, the infliction of pain seems to have played a big part in religious beliefs.

21/7/06 11:26 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Atheists and their godless hordes have a pretty bad rap as well (China, North Korea....)

24/7/06 11:41 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE the troll:

More post hoc ergo propter hoc logical fallacies from the troll.

Post hoc, also known as "coincidental correlation" or "false cause," is a logical fallacy which assumes or asserts that if one event happens after another, then the first must be the cause of the second.

When A occurs, B occurs.
Therefore, A causes B.

Or in the case of the troll's faulty thinking...>>

If someone is an atheist and they kill someone, they have killed someone BECAUSE they are an atheist. Therefore atheism causes killing.

Of course the majority of people make this simple logical fallacy.

This proves my point that the majority of people ARE stupid, and that "the troll" is in the majority.

By the way, using "your logic" this is correct.

Stalin was a vegetarian.
Stalin had a lot of his political opponents killed.
Stalin killed those people because he was a vegetarian.
And finally, vegetarians kill people.

I suggested to you before that you need to work on your fallacies.

25/7/06 1:12 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

But I thought you said the US was waging a Christian war? Because Bush is a Christian?? Surely not....

25/7/06 4:26 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE the troll:

Whenever the US wages war, it wages war with its non-existent God firmly at its non-existent side.

The same can be said of the UK and similarly of Australia. Nations call on god and their believers to wage what they see as "the just war of their religious belief".

War Time Songs are a good indication of how wars have been considered "religious affairs."
Example:~ "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" was written to rally the troops in their fight in WW2.

No doubt in this song that the men were encouraged to believe that they were killing for god and that god liked it.

http://www.lyricsdownload.com/bob-kuban-the-inmen-praise-the-lord-and-pass-the-ammunition-lyrics.html

And of course who can forget that stirring battle cry ~~ "Onward Christian Soldiers" ?

Onward, Christian soldiers,
Marching as to war.
With the cross of Jesus
Going on before!

http://junior.apk.net/~bmames/ht0045_.htm

Once again, no doubt that soldiers were encouraged to believe that through their killing, they were doing the lord's work. (Sounds sick to me, but the propaganda has worked for a long time.)

This situation is the same as it always has been. The religious war mania is just more obvious under bushlite.

God believers always believe that their god is passing the bullets, guiding their bombs and blessing their ships and tanks. Their god is with them wildly killing the foe with their battle axe like odin, or madly striking the enemy with a thunderbolt from thor. The propaganda hasn't changed, just the war songs and names of the gods.

25/7/06 11:58 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Praying is innate because it gives one strength to persevere. My guess is that if you were stuck in the middle of Antarctica you would pray for deliverance as well. Why? Because your soul is crying out to it's Source/Maker....

26/7/06 7:58 am  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE the troll:

"Praying is innate because it gives one strength to persevere."

INNATE: Possessed at birth; inborn.

Prayer is learnt. Hope might be innate, but difficult to prove.

Once again, I think you confuse your emotional state with the existence of a a god.

Certainly the presence of hope might encourage one to persevere, but "prayer" is NOT innate.

PRAYER: A reverent petition made to God, a god, or another object of worship.

God belief is NOT innate, it is a learned behaviour, which goes a way to explaining why people pray to different gods/objects in different ways.

People learn formats of prayer and god belief which comply with their culture, chronology and geography.

26/7/06 8:56 am  
Anonymous Jeff said...

No. The knowledge of God is indeed innate. Some just choose to suppress it while others nurture the spark and build a fire....

26/7/06 11:54 pm  
Blogger beepbeepitsme said...

RE the troll:

Some scientific evidence that god belief is innate.

That is, that we are born with "god belief."

Your BELIEF that we are, isn't good enough.

27/7/06 2:03 pm  

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