Letter to Ann Coulter from Henry Rollins
Hilarious!
Dear Ann:
You used to be fun; at least funny. At least gently and amusingly insane, but girlfriend, you’ve changed! The thousand-yard stare you’ve acquired in the last couple of years says lonely nights, too much wine and insecurity about the future of your career.
Where to now, my sweet fascist? Another one of your silly books? More hilarious appearances on Hannity & Colmes? Bill Maher has to be tired of you by now. You’re anything but stupid and by now , you must see the writing on the wall. You’ll never have a real place with the Beltway in crowd, as they see you as a northeastern, hickoid, pro wrestler, Nascar type with a degree from Cornell. I mean, really, Ann; where can it go from here?
Ann, I think I have the answer, in fact, I know I do. I want to hire you, Ann. I want you to come and work for me. I want you to be my “Ann Friday,” my housekeeper, beekeeper, floor, chimney and minesweeper, my window-washing, grocery-buying, dinner-cooking, obsequious, submissive concubine-domestic.
You will laugh at my jokes, celebrate my victories and lament my failures. You will praise my friends and vow great harm upon all who oppose me. You will treat me like a god, a guru, a mentor – and the best night in the sack you’ve ever had. You will carry my bags, wash my cars, walk my dogs and turn your savings over to me. You will massage Susan Sarandon’s aching shoulders, whip up vegan delights for Hanoi Jane Fonda, and loofah Barbra Streisand’s stretch marks. But most of all, Ann, you will just shut the fuck up.
I can offer you a life of obedient servitude on my compound; in your time with me, you will learn much. You will learn that America is made up of people from all races, walks of life and sexual orientation and that it’s all OK. You will learn to be patient and kind. You will learn the meaning of the word “respect” and memorize every line of Caddyshack.
You will listen to The Ramones, Black Sabbath and the Brides of Funkenstein. You’re a figure of fun and I plan on having fun with that figure. You will learn who your daddy is, that’s for sure. But mostly, Ann, you will just the fuck up.Come on, Anne, ya fuckin’ psycho; let’s do this!
Henry
posted by beepbeepitsme | 12:07 am
17 Comments:
Beep, if there's a denomination for the TROLL kind of attitude, How do you denominate someone who hates science and rational thinking? And that is always looking for argue this is also another kind of beliefs . . . you know, I have this friend . . .
RE sincronia:
I can believe that global warming is occuring. But my belief is hardly necessary as global warming occurs regardless of my belief in it.
"Belief" in this context, is to have a reasonable expectation that such a thing is occuring because of evidences to the affirmative. Evidences which are testible and or falsifiable.
Religious belief does not require evidences in order to exist. All that is required is blind faith.
So even though the word "belief" or "believe" can be used outside the context of religious belief; under these circumstances it is rarely if ever describing blind faith.
RE olly:
Well, he is pretentious. But anyone who serves coulter's ass back to her on a platter is entitled to my support.
Sounds like a misogynist to me. Funny how feminists are okay with misogyny when it involves a female they despise. I see this over and over again....
I don't hate women, just ann coulter. :)
But you approve of misogynistic ways of belittling her. Interesting....
RE the troll:
If you feel like posting, don't play "anonymous".
It makes you look deceitful. Oooops. That is probably because you are.
The anonymous post was an accident. Afterall, I'm not perfect (God), you know......
Sure troll, claim you didn't post anonymously on purpose...
My name isn't troll. It's The Jeff, my dear....
RE the troll:
While you need my permission to post to my blog, you will be called what I will.
Do you want a cowriter? I could add some interesting articles to the fray.... Don't answer right away. I know you aren't afraid of a little controversy and perhaps this is exactly what is needed in the blogosphere. A blog hosted by both an Atheist and a Christian. What a concept! Think it over and get back to me....
I thought about it
NO
Awesome! When do I start?
RE the troll:
Start your own blog.
I promise to come and annoy you on your blog.
I don't have as much time to proselytize as you do, beep.....
RE the troll:
Sure you have time to proselytise, you are here regularly because you can't stand it that I have a different opinion about gods than you do.
You specifically make time to come here and post comments in opposition, because it is in your doctrine/dogma to proselytise.
PROSELYTISE: (V) convert to another faith or religion.
I have no religion or faith to convert anyone to, you on the other hand, are prescribed BY your faith and your religion to do exactly that.
(It is fascinating to me how god believers project their own habits and characteristics onto other people.)
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