If Jesus was to apply for a green card, which category would he apply under?
1. Family Based Immigration?
No, Jesus doesn't have any family living in the US, apparently he didn't act on any of his sexual desires.
2. Employment Based Immigration?
Possibly, as his followers believe him to be a person of extraordinary ability. Walking on water and rising from the dead being two of his supposed special feats.
3. Green Card Lottery?
I can't really see Jesus lining up to gamble as to whether he will be lucky enough to win a green card. Afterall, here was a guy who was unlucky enough to be killed by his own father.
Jesus as a foreign entrepeneur? Firstly he would need to have at least $500, 000 to invest and as a humble carpenter, I don't think he would have that sort of money to invest anywhere.
5. Private Bill ?
Perhaps Jesus has a compelling humanitarian reason to stay permanently in the US. Afterall, Israel isn't particularly interested in offering him residence, and come to think of it, he isn't too popular in most of the Middle East.
This would need to assume that Jesus is a high level diplomat who can't return to his home country because of persecution or a well-founded fear of persecution. Well really, how many times can you kill someone? If he goes back to Israel, is it legitimate or even remotely possible to nail him up again?
I thought crucifixions were a once only affair.
Ditto, except he doesn't need to be a diplomat. Jesus didn't appear to be especially diplomatic or sane in his dealing with a fig tree. Cursing a fig tree because it doesn't bear fruit out of season seems more like a plea for insanity than a plea for political assylum.
Ditto. He only needs to be a foreign national who is displaced by war, famine, and civil and political unrest. This seems likely given the religious wars in the middle east at the moment.
Personally, I think Jesus would apply for a green card and employment in the US based on his claims of extraordinary abilities because:
- He wouldn't be asked to provide evidence for any of his claims.
- His claims would be taken on blind faith.
- Anything positive that happened in the country would be attributed to him, and anything negative would be attributed to Canada.
But just incase, by some stroke of bad luck, his application fails, you can be one of the other religious nutballs who have signed their name to demand that Jesus will have AUTOMATIC legal status when he returns.
Please see below ~
To: US Citizenship and Immigration Services
We, the Christians of Americans, demand that you grant the US Citizenship to Jesus Christ, the son of God. We, the good Christians of America know that our Lord and Savior will return to earth and we want to make sure he has a legal status in the USA.