BEEP! BEEP! IT'S ME.

"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)

Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"

My Photo
Name: Beep Beep
Location: Australia

I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.

"DIFFICILE EST SATURAM NON SCRIBERE"

Subscribe to BEEP! BEEP! IT'S ME

Saturday, September 30, 2006

The Creation Of Gods And Other Human Habits

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



Human beings design intelligent designers :~


They use a process which although logically flawed, goes much like this.
  • 1. Human beings design things.
  • 2. Human beings are intelligent beings who design things.
  • 3. Human beings are intelligent beings because they have a capacity to learn, reason, and understand.
  • 4. Human beings although they are intelligent, did not design the universe.
  • 5. Human beings did not design the universe because they are not intelligent enough.
  • 6. If intelligent humans did not design the universe, then it must have been a being which is more intelligent than humans.
  • 7. Human beings then go on to imagine and design an intelligent being which is intelligent enough to design the universe.
  • 8. Human beings then decide that the degree of intelligence which is required to design the universe is omniscience because in order to design everything, the being must know everything.
  • 9. Human beings having designed an omniscient being which is capable of designing the universe as it knows everything, then proceed to call this being god.
  • 10. Human beings then go on to imagine what this god must be like. It must be like us, but better in everyway than us. Afterall, we know what we would need in order to design the universe. Therefore our god designer must be like us; but the superdooper version of us. It must be like us, but on supernatural steroids.
    a. Therefore it is not just intelligent like us, it is omniscient.
    b. It is not just benevolent like us, but omnibenevolent.
    c. It is not just powerful like us, but omnipotent.
    d. It is not just in this one place in time and space like us, but omnipresent.
    e. It is not just in the natural world like us, but in a supernatural realm.


(Humans attribute these characteristics to this being because they know that they lack these qualities, and these qualities must be what a being would need in order to create everything.)

  • 11. Human beings then go on to claim that because they are capable of imagining and designing a being which is capable of these things and of having these attributes and characteristics, that this is because the being created human beings. Or, because they can imagine and construct epistomologically such a being, it must be because the being actually exists.
  • 12. Some human beings even go on to claim that the being created humans in its image instead of the more obvious, where human beings, being intelligent, but not omniscient, created the concept of an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent god.

"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes." - Gene Roddenberry



(PS: ~ There is a free cookie/biscuit for the people who can state the deliberate logical fallacies in the constructed argument.)



Link

Intelligent Designer


Argument: ~ If an intelligent designer exists, it cannot be an omniscient god.
~*~
  • 1. What is an intelligent designer?
  • 2. An intelligent designer designs things.
  • 3. An intelligent designer exhibits intelligence.
  • 4. What is intelligence?
  • 5. Intelligence is the capacity to learn.
  • 6. An omnicient god is a god which knows everything.
  • 7. Therefore, an omniscient god doesn't need to learn anything.
  • 8. Therefore an omniscient god cannot be an intelligent designer.
  • 9. A god which was not all-knowing would be less than perfect.
  • 10. Therefore, only a less than perfect god could be an intelligent designer.


    Same argument expressed slightly differently:
  • 1. Definition: X is intelligent means X has the capacity to learn.
  • 2. For any X, X has the capacity to learn LOGICALLY IMPLIES that there is something which X doesn't know.
  • 3. If God exists then God is omniscient (knows all that there is to know).
  • 4. Thus by 3 & 2, God doesn't have the capacity to learn.
  • 5. Thus by 4 & 1, God is not intelligent.
  • 6. Every intelligent designer is intelligent.
  • 7. Therefore by 5 & 6, God is not an intelligent designer.

(With thanks to Polaterality)

LINKS:

If complex organisms demand an explanation, so does a complex designer.

By calling god an "intelligent designer" (one who has the capacity to learn, reason and understand); one downgrades an omniscient god, (one who knows everything already), to one who "knows a lot." - beepbeepitsme



Link

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Proof that the USA is Evil





*~*
IT BURPS! IT FARTS! IT WETS ITS FUR WITH LAUGHTER!
*~*
Ok, it doesn't do any of those things but it does other scary things. Yes, I added the horns. And yes, it was a joke. Please put the gun down.
*~*
Seriously, I thought this thing was having a seizure or an epileptic fit. Maybe the next model can have flashing eyes to ensure that the owner and doll can have matching concurrent seizures.
*~*
What has been described as the America's "gun culture" or love affair with weapons has always been at least slightly disturbing to me. But not anymore. Having watched the video of Elmo cacking his pants for about 2 minutes, I would be reaching for the nearest weapon to put it out of its misery. If there is anything out there that is begging to be a target, it is "Tickle Me Elmo."
*~*
So my suggestion would be. Spare your sanity, buy a gun and tickle the doll with a round of hollow points.
What will the next version be? These ideas might be popular for political pundits.
  • 1. A "Tickle Me Elmo Doll" which allows you to vote in the next presidential election by squeezing the righthand or the lefthand.
  • 2. You then stick a USB cable up its cloaca and the vote is registered online and compiled via my server where I tally the votes for a small but fair fee.
  • 3. Votes which are "ambiguous" set off the self destruct button located inside the doll's nose thus ensuring a troublefree vote count.
  • 4. Also, it would be illegal to sell these dolls to African Americans who live in Florida thus saving valuable time having to delete their names from the list later on.

What about a religious theme?

  • 1. How about a Tickle Me Jesus Doll? This would be a hit with people who like to tickle others under the armpits.
  • 2. Or a Tickle Me Devil Doll. This doll could cackle insanely for a couple of minutes, and then tell the owner to go to hell.

I am sure there are readers out there with their own suggestions.



Link

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Jesus Is Imaginary





*~*
TRANSCRIPT:
You can prove to yourself that jesus is completely imaginary in less than five minutes. Planet earth. Home to billions of people. More than two billion of earth's inhabitants believe in jesus christ. They believe that jesus was sent by god to give them eternal life. They believe that jesus died but was then resurrected and now sits in heaven looking down and judging us. Yet jesus christ is completely imaginary and we can prove it in three simple steps.
*~*
Step 1 : ~ Open your bible and read 1 Cor 15: 3-8.
*~*
"For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born."
*~*
We learn three important facts from this passage.
  • Jesus proved his resurrection by appearing to people.
  • It is OK to appear to people.
  • Appearing to people does not take away free will or harm faith.
*~*
Step 2: ~ Read Matthew 18: 19-20
*~*
"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
*~*
Here we learn two important facts.
  • Jesus is already here amongst us.
  • God will do anything we ask.
*~*
So, Step 3 is simple. We ask jesus to appear. Grab a friend and try this prayer.
Dear jesus, we know that you are in our midst already. We ask you to physically appear, so that we may know that you are resurrected. We have faith that you will answer our prayer as you promise in the bible. In your name we pray. Amen.
*~*
Now, what do you suppose is going to happen? If you are a normal, intelligent adult, then you know what will happen. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
*~*
Here's what we know: ~
  • Jesus is already here.
  • It would be trivial for him to appear.
  • It is ok for him to appear.
  • He has promised that he will appear to your prayer.
*~*
Yet, strangely, jesus ignores your prayer. How do we explain what we see here? If you are a normal, intelligent person the explanation is simple. Jesus is imaginary. People who believe in jesus can make hundreds of excuses to try and explain what we see here, but they are all just that - excuses. Jesus is imaginary.
*~*
If jesus were real he would appear to each of us. He would show us that he is the resurrected son of god just like he supposedly showed the people in the bible. Instead, your prayer is ignored. The fact that your prayer is ignored shows us exactly how imaginary jesus is. It is time for us to state the truth.
*~*
The people on earth who worship jesus are worshipping a being who is no more real than the Great Pumpkin. It is time for normal, intelligent people to acknowledge this simple fact. And begin dismantling the last great superstition of the modern era. Would you like to learn more? If you would like to explain the excuses that people use to explain jesus's absence, please visit God Is Imaginary .
*~*
JESUS IS IMAGINARY.
*~*
Comments are welcomed.



, , , ,

Link

Monday, September 25, 2006

Jesus Camp


Picture of the German belt-buckle. 'Gott mit uns' (God with us).
*~*
By now many of you will have seen the "Jesus Camp" video depicting some of the activities at Pastor Becky Fischer's Bible camp in North Dakota. Some of these activities include:
  • Speaking in tongues,
  • weeping for salvation,
  • praying for an end to abortion
  • and worshipping a picture of President Bush

"I want to see them as radically laying down their lives for the gospel as they are in Palestine, Pakistan and all those different places," Fisher said. "Because, excuse me, we have the truth."


"A lot of people die for God," one camper said, "and they're not afraid." "We're kinda being trained to be warriors," said another, "only in a funner way."

"It's an absolute, straight-up us-against-them," Sandler said. "It's, you're either with us or you're against us. … Not only are you a sinner, but you are working for the enemy — the enemy being Satan."

Some cheeky sod edited the Jesus Camp video to express his/her satirical opinion concerning the indocrination of these young people into "warriors for jesus."

WATCH IT HERE: ~ PARODY OF THE JESUS CAMP VIDEO





None of this sounds terribly different to the indoctrination of some young muslims who are trained to be warriors for allah and to die for allah because they ALSO have an intractable faith that THEY claim is "the truth".

Some young muslims also see other religions, but especially christianity, as the great satan, in exactly the same way that these christian children in the Jesus Camp video are being indoctrinated to view islam as the great satan.

On both sides it is about indoctrinating children to: ~

  • obey the leader without question;
  • worship the leader because the leader is god's/allah's representative;
  • become "god/allah warriors" for their nations;
  • and to die for their intractable religious beliefs.

When muslims become the "new jews" and must be eliminated, and christians become the "new jews" and must be eliminated; what hope is there for a sane, rational world?

MORE LINKS: ~



"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis



Link

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Fossil Find Is Missing Link in Human Evolution

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Watch on Streaming Video : ~ Hominid Evolution and Development


"Lucy's Baby" -- World's Oldest Child -- Found by Fossil Hunters

The world's oldest known child has been discovered in East Africa in an area known appropriately as the Cradle of Humanity.

The 3.3-million-year-old fossilized toddler was uncovered in north Ethiopia's badlands along the Great Rift Valley.

The skeleton, belonging to the primitive human species Australopithecus afarensis, is remarkable for its age and completeness.

That face, no bigger than a monkey's, was spotted peering from a dusty slope in December 2000. Its smooth brow and short canine teeth identified it as a hominin, a group that encompasses humans and their ancestors.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



Skeleton sheds light on ape-man species

The species is Australopithecus afarensis, which lived in Africa between about 4 million and 3 million years ago. The most famous afarensis is Lucy, discovered in Ethiopia in 1974, a creature that lived about 100,000 years after the newfound specimen.

While the lower body is very human-like, he said, the upper body is ape-like:


  • The shoulder blades resemble those of a gorilla rather than a modern human.
  • The neck seems short and thick like a great ape's, rather than the more slender version humans have to keep the head stable while running.
  • The organ of balance in the inner ear is more ape-like than human.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The fossil find includes the complete skull, including an impression of the brain and the lower jaw, all the vertebrae from the neck to just below the torso, all the ribs, both shoulder blades and both collarbones, the right elbow and part of a hand, both knees and much of both shin and thigh bones. One foot is almost complete, providing the first time scientists have found an afarensis foot with the bones still positioned as they were in life.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


MORE LINKS: ~



"If we are going to teach creation science as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction."
Judith Hayes



Link

Friday, September 22, 2006

My Favourite Things

<< I made this.

(parenthetical remarks) was kind and/or evil enough to tag me also for one of these list things, so here's more than you probably want to know about me:

Things I'd like to do before I die: ~
1. Stay in
Raffles Hotel in Singapore.
2. Go back to
Paris, but this time in springtime.
3. Be
Anthony Kiedis's granny groupie. (in Paris)

Things I cannot do: ~
1.
Calculus
2. Chin-ups
3. Reverse park. (Shame shame)

Things I can do: ~
1.
Fascilitate
2. Create beautiful things
3. Pretend that I know something


Things that would attract me to my significant other: ~
1. Kindness

2. Kindness
3. Kindness
"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." -
Henry James

Things I like to say: ~
1. "It's a wigwam for a goose's bridle"

2. "The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday - but never jam today."
3. "Twas brillig"

Books I like best: ~
1. "Alice In Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll

2. "The Twits" by Roald Dahl
3. "Siddhartha" by Hermann Hesse

Movies I like to see: ~
1. "History of the World Part 1"
2. "Girl With A Pearl Earring"

3. "Frida"

I, in turn, tag



Link

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Is The Bible A Fable?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Image from: ~ The Brick Testament