"Begin at the beginning,and go on till you come to the end: then stop." (Lewis Carroll, 1832-1896)
Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked."Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat."I don't know," Alice answered."Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
"So long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation. "Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."
"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. "Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"
I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Like Arthur Dent from "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy", if you do not have a Babel Fish in your ear this blog will be completely unintelligible to you and will read something like this: "boggle, google, snoggle, slurp, slurp, dingleberry to the power of 10". Fortunately, those who have had the Babel Fish inserted in their ear, will understood this blog perfectly. If you are familiar with this technology, you will know that the Babel Fish lives on brainwave radiation. It excretes energy in the form of exactly the correct brainwaves needed by its host to understand what was just said; or in this case, what was read. The Babel Fish, thanks to scientific research, reverses the problem defined by its namesake in the Tower of Babel, where a deity was supposedly inspired to confuse the human race by making them unable to understand each other.
Beepbeepitsme has been added to The Atheist Blogroll. You can see the blogroll in my sidebar. The Atheist blogroll is a community building service provided free of charge to Atheist bloggers from around the world. If you would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts.
"Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?" Alexander Pope
"The primary function of myth is to validate an existing social order. Myth enshrines conservative social values, raising tradition on a pedestal." Ann Oakley
"Some treat their longing for God as proof of His existence." Mason Cooley
"The god of the Christians, as we have seen, is the god who makes promises only to break them; who sends them pestilence and disease in order to heal them; a god who demoralizes mankind in order to improve it. A god who created man 'after his own image', and still the origin of evil in man is not accredited to him." Johann Most
"In love, we worry more about the meaning of silences than the meaning of words." Mason Cooley
"My philosophy is such that I am not going to vote against the oppressed. I have been oppressed, and so I am always going to have a vote for the oppressed, regardless of whether that oppressed is black or white or yellow or the people of the Middle East, or what. I have that feeling." Septima Clark
"Secular humanists suspect there is something more gloriously human about resisting the religious impulse; about accepting the cold truth, even if that truth is only that the universe is as indifferent to us as we are to it." Tom Flynn
"If the question is put to me would I rather have a miserable ape for a grandfather or a man highly endowed by nature and possessed of great means of influence and yet who employs those faculties and that influence for the mere purpose of introducing ridicule into a grave scientific discussionI unhesitatingly affirm my preference for the ape." Thomas Henry Huxley
Project Gutenberg is the oldest producer of free ebooks on the Internet. The collection was produced by hundreds of volunteers.
"Give the right man a solar myth, and he'll confute the sun therewith." James Russell Lowell
"Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone. Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon. Show me slowly what I only know the limits of. Dance me to the end of love." Leonard Cohen
"If God is male, then male is God. The divine patriarch castrates women as long as he is allowed to live on in the human imagination." Mary Daly
"If the people were a little more ignorant, astrology would flourish - if a little more enlightened, religion would perish." Robert Green Ingersoll
"In other words (so to speak): not two and also not not two." Magellan's Log V
"History is, strictly speaking, the study of questions; the study of answers belongs to anthropology and sociology." W.H. Auden
"Archaeology is the peeping Tom of the sciences. It is the sandbox of men who care not where they are going; they merely want to know where everyone else has been." Jim Bishop
"To excavate is to open a book written in the language that the centuries have spoken into the earth." Spyridon Marinatos
"Science commits suicide when it adopts a creed." Thomas Henry Huxley
"The place has changed but little since Diana received the homage of her worshippers in the sacred grove. The temple of the sylvan goddess, indeed, has vanished and the King of the Wood no longer stands sentinel over the Golden Bough." Sir James George Frazer
"Babylonian king (1792BCEâ€“1750BCE) who made Babylon the chief Mesopotamian kingdom and codified the laws of Mesopotamia and Sumeria." The American Heritage
"We are ourselves history and share the responsibility for world history and our position in it. But we gravely lack awareness of this responsibility." Hermann Hesse
"Astrology: do we make a hullabaloo among the stars, or do they make a hullabaloo down here?" Mason Cooley
"Readers are plentiful: thinkers are rare." Harriet Martineau
"The Christian religion is a parody on the worship of the Sun, in which they put a man whom they call Christ, in the place of the Sun, and pay him the same adoration which was originally paid to the Sun." Thomas Paine
"Zoroaster was thus the first to teach the doctrines of an individual judgment, Heaven and Hell, the future resurrection of the body, the general Last Judgment, and life everlasting for the reunited soul and body. These doctrines were to become familiar articles of faith to much of mankind, through borrowings by Judaism, Christianity and Islam; yet it is in Zoroastrianism itself that they have their fullest logical coherence.â€ - Mary Boyce
"My esoteric doctrine, is that if you entertain any doubt, it is safest to take the unpopular side in the first instance. Transit from the unpopular, is easy ... but from the popular to the unpopular is so steep and rugged that it is impossible to maintain it." William Lamb Melbourne
"With reason one can travel the world over; without it it is hard to move an inch." Chinese proverb.
"Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. Bribery and corruption are common. Children no longer obey their parents. . . . The end of the world is evidently approaching." Sound familiar? It is, in fact, the lament of a scribe in one of the earliest inscriptions to be unearthed in Mesopotamia, where Western civilization was born. C. John Sommerville
"The sun, the moon and the stars would have disappeared long ago ... had they happened to be within the reach of predatory human hands." Havelock Ellis
"It (myth) expresses and confirms, rather than explains or questions, the sources of cultural attitudes and values... Because myth anchors the present in the past it is a sociological charter for a future society which is an exact replica of the present one." Ann Oakley
"Starry, starry night. Flaming flowers that brightly blaze, swirling clouds in violet haze, reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue." Don McLean
"NOT from the stars do I my judgment pluck, and yet methinks I have astronomy, But not to tell of good or evil luck, Of plagues, of dearths, or seasonsâ€™ quality..." William Shakespeare
"Moreover, the universe as a whole is infinite, for whatever is limited has an outermost edge to limit it, and such an edge is defined by something beyond. Since the universe has no edge, it has no limit; and since it lacks a limit, it is infinite and unbounded. Moreover, the universe is infinite both in the number of its atoms and in the extent of its void." Epicurus
"Most people today still believe, perhaps unconsciously, in the heliocentric universe every newspaper in the land has a section on astrology, yet few have anything at all on astronomy." Hannes Alfven
A world filled with wonder, a cold, fathomless sky A man's life so meager, he can but wonder why He cries out to Heaven its truth to reveal The answer: only silence, for God isn't real. Go ask the starving millions under Stalin's cruel reign Go ask the child with cancer who eases her pain Then go to your churches, if that's how you feel But don't ask me to follow, for God isn't real. He forms in his image a weak and foolish man Speaks to him in symbols that few understand For a life of devotion, the death blow he deals We'd owe Him only hatred, but God isn't real. Go tell the executioner of the power he can't defy Go tell his shackled victim of the mercy on high... Then go to your churches, go beg, pray, and kneel, But don't ask me to follow, for God isn't real. No, no matter how He should be, God isn't real.
Before the last presidential election, Reverend Boyd preached six sermons called “The Cross and the Sword” in which he said the church should steer clear of politics, give up moralizing on sexual issues, stop claiming the United States as a “Christian nation” and stop glorifying American military campaigns.
“When the church wins the culture wars, it inevitably loses,” Mr. Boyd preached. “When it conquers the world, it becomes the world. When you put your trust in the sword, you lose the cross.” And Mr. Boyd has a new book out, “The Myth of a Christian Nation: How the Quest for Political Power Is Destroying the Church,” which is based on his sermons. In his six sermons, Mr. Boyd laid out a broad argument that the role of Christians was not to seek “power over” others — by controlling governments, passing legislation or fighting wars. Christians should instead seek to have “power under” others — “winning people’s hearts” by sacrificing for those in need, as Jesus did, Mr. Boyd said. “America wasn’t founded as a theocracy,” he said. “America was founded by people trying to escape theocracies. Never in history have we had a Christian theocracy where it wasn’t bloody and barbaric. That’s why our Constitution wisely put in a separation of church and state.
“I am sorry to tell you,” he continued, “that America is not the light of the world and the hope of the world. The light of the world and the hope of the world is Jesus Christ.”
If I wasn't an atheist, I would say "Hallelujah." Matthew 26:52 "Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword."
Atheists - For not believing in god. This illustrious list includes people such as: Richard Dawkins, Woody Allen, Lance Armstrong, Isaac Asimov, Richard Branson, Katharine Hepburn, James Randi and Bill Gates. Just to mention a few. Ok. Bill Gates I can understand. He deserves it because of microsoft.
Aztecs, Mayans, Arawaks, Native Americans, South Pacific Islanders, etc – Some of these people practiced cannibalism like Jeffrey Dahmer but didn’t accept Jesus so we know where they are going. Christians killed a lot of them because they didn’t believe in Jesus so god seems to be fucking them over twice.
Buddhists - Buddha once said that life is suffering. This practice will come in handy while burning in hell.
Confucianists - For providing a system of ethics that doesn't require a supernatural deity. Welcome to hell for about 6 million chinese.
Daoists and Taoists - Taoism is not a religion, nor a philosophy. It is a "Way" of life. It is a River. The Tao is the natural order of things. It is a force that flows through every living and sentient object, as well as through the entire universe. Sounds too much like pantheism. Welcome to hell for preaching about a life of balance being perfect happiness.
Deists and Pantheists - You people are way too passive and inclusive. Everything is divine. Hope you find hell divine.
Greeks - Raping, plundering, murdering, and drinking to excess. And I am talking about their gods! Looks like they are headed to deep in the bowels of Hades!
Hindus - Holy cows but no holy spirit. Straight to hell! Now that the Buddhists and Hindus are in hell, we easily outnumber the people in heaven several times over. Do you think we aren’t going to invade?
Jews - Christians would say that the Jews were on the right path until they kind of killed the Messiah. Oy.
Jews for Jesus - Isn’t this a contradiction. I vote they go to hell for hedging their bets.
Neanderthals and Early Hominids – There is some evidence that they may have believed in an afterlife but since they don’t even get a mention on the bible I think it is safe to assume we will see them in hell. Scientologists - Tom Cruise, John Travolta and assorted Dianetic Devotees.
Sumerians- The oldest civilization. They worshipped gods such as An and Nammu, but no Yahweh. Welcome to hell Sargon.
Zoroastrianism - One of the earliest known monotheistic religions. Close but no cigar. Straight to hell spoke Zarathustra.
Now that we have the list sorted, who is bringing the gin and tonics and the mah jong?
“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” Mark Twain
"There is much in the BIBLE against which every instinct of my being rebels, so much that I regret the necessity which has compelled me to read it through from beginning to end. I do not think that the knowledge which I have gained of its history and sources compensates me for the unpleasant details it has forced upon my attention." Helen Keller "De t’ings dat yo’ li’bleTo read in de BIBLE—It ain’t necessarily so." Ira Gershwin "The BIBLE and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of women's emancipation." Elizabeth Cady Stanton "Properly read, the BIBLE is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." Isaac Asimov "If the BIBLE is mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust it to tell us where we're going?" Justin Brown “It is not as in the BIBLE, that God created man in his own image. But, on the contrary, man created God in his own image.” Ludwig Feuerbach "If all the historic books of the BIBLE were blotted from the memory of mankind, nothing of value would be lost.." Robert Ingersoll "I read Shakespeare and the BIBLE, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education." Tallulah Bankhead "The BIBLE is one of the most genocidal books in history." Noam Chomsky "We either accept weaknesses in good people or we have to tear pages out of the BIBLE." Robert Duvall "Many of us view the BIBLE and other religious teachings as mythology." Richard King "The BIBLE contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." Lynn Lavner "What happens someday if more people own my record than the BIBLE? That will make me god because a lot more people believe in me than him? Because it's just about popularity. There are plenty of people in the world how have never heard of Jesus, while America takes him for granted." Marilyn Manson "I know of no book which has been a source of brutality and sadistic conduct, both public and private, that can compare with the BIBLE." James Paget "I got a book token for Christmas and exchanged it for a book called A History of Art, and that book (which I still have-battered and falling to pieces) became more precious to me than any BIBLE." Philip Pullman "Suppose you went to your priest and asked for help - he would refer you to the BIBLE, but if you went the next day to your medical doctor, and he referred you to the book of Hippocrates, which was written at about the same time as the BIBLE, you would think that was old-fashioned." John Templeton "It ain't those parts of the BIBLE that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand." Mark Twain
WARNING:~ This Article Contains Adult Concepts, Please Censor Yourself.
If Jesus was to apply for a green card, which category would he apply under?
1. Family Based Immigration? No, Jesus doesn't have any family living in the US, apparently he didn't act on any of his sexual desires. 2. Employment Based Immigration? Possibly, as his followers believe him to be a person of extraordinary ability. Walking on water and rising from the dead being two of his supposed special feats. 3. Green Card Lottery? I can't really see Jesus lining up to gamble as to whether he will be lucky enough to win a green card. Afterall, here was a guy who was unlucky enough to be killed by his own father. 4. Investor? Jesus as a foreign entrepeneur? Firstly he would need to have at least $500, 000 to invest and as a humble carpenter, I don't think he would have that sort of money to invest anywhere.
5. Private Bill ? Perhaps Jesus has a compelling humanitarian reason to stay permanently in the US. Afterall, Israel isn't particularly interested in offering him residence, and come to think of it, he isn't too popular in most of the Middle East.
6. Diplomat? This would need to assume that Jesus is a high level diplomat who can't return to his home country because of persecution or a well-founded fear of persecution. Well really, how many times can you kill someone? If he goes back to Israel, is it legitimate or even remotely possible to nail him up again? I thought crucifixions were a once only affair. 7. Asylum? Ditto, except he doesn't need to be a diplomat. Jesus didn't appear to be especially diplomatic or sane in his dealing with a fig tree. Cursing a fig tree because it doesn't bear fruit out of season seems more like a plea for insanity than a plea for political assylum. 8. Refugee? Ditto. He only needs to be a foreign national who is displaced by war, famine, and civil and political unrest. This seems likely given the religious wars in the middle east at the moment.
Personally, I think Jesus would apply for a green card and employment in the US based on his claims of extraordinary abilities because:
He wouldn't be asked to provide evidence for any of his claims.
His claims would be taken on blind faith.
Anything positive that happened in the country would be attributed to him, and anything negative would be attributed to Canada.
But just incase, by some stroke of bad luck, his application fails, you can be one of the other religious nutballs who have signed their name to demand that Jesus will have AUTOMATIC legal status when he returns.
Please see below ~
To: US Citizenship and Immigration Services We, the Christians of Americans, demand that you grant the US Citizenship to Jesus Christ, the son of God. We, the good Christians of America know that our Lord and Savior will return to earth and we want to make sure he has a legal status in the USA. Sincerely, The Undersigned
The Rapture Index is by no means meant to predict the rapture, however, the index is designed to measure the type of activity that could act as a precursor to the rapture.
You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we're moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture.
Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 85 to 110: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 110 to 145: Heavy prophetic activity
Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make when in the presence of religious dogma.The atheist is merely a person who believes that the 260 million Americans (87% of the population) who claim to never doubt the existence of God should be obliged to present evidence for his existence and, indeed, for his benevolence, given the relentless destruction of innocent human beings we witness in the world each day.
Global warming is the observed increase in the average temperature of the Earth's atmosphere and oceans in recent decades.
The prevailingscientific opinion on climate change is that "most of the warming observed over the last 50 years is attributable to human activities". The increased amounts of carbon dioxide (CO2) and other greenhouse gases(GHGs) are the primary causes of the human-induced component of warming. They are released by the burning of fossil fuels, land clearing and agriculture, etc. and lead to an increase in the greenhouse effect. An increase in global temperatures can in turn cause other changes, including a rising sea level and changes in the amount and pattern of precipitation. These changes may increase the frequency and intensity of extreme weather events, such as floods, droughts, heat waves, hurricanes, and tornados. Other consequences include higher or lower agricultural yields, glacier retreat, reduced summer streamflows, species extinctions and increases in the ranges of disease vectors.
Dear Ann: You used to be fun; at least funny. At least gently and amusingly insane, but girlfriend, you’ve changed! The thousand-yard stare you’ve acquired in the last couple of years says lonely nights, too much wine and insecurity about the future of your career. Where to now, my sweet fascist? Another one of your silly books? More hilarious appearances on Hannity & Colmes? Bill Maher has to be tired of you by now. You’re anything but stupid and by now , you must see the writing on the wall. You’ll never have a real place with the Beltway in crowd, as they see you as a northeastern, hickoid, pro wrestler, Nascar type with a degree from Cornell. I mean, really, Ann; where can it go from here? Ann, I think I have the answer, in fact, I know I do. I want to hire you, Ann. I want you to come and work for me. I want you to be my “Ann Friday,” my housekeeper, beekeeper, floor, chimney and minesweeper, my window-washing, grocery-buying, dinner-cooking, obsequious, submissive concubine-domestic. You will laugh at my jokes, celebrate my victories and lament my failures. You will praise my friends and vow great harm upon all who oppose me. You will treat me like a god, a guru, a mentor – and the best night in the sack you’ve ever had. You will carry my bags, wash my cars, walk my dogs and turn your savings over to me. You will massage Susan Sarandon’s aching shoulders, whip up vegan delights for Hanoi Jane Fonda, and loofah Barbra Streisand’s stretch marks. But most of all, Ann, you will just shut the fuck up. I can offer you a life of obedient servitude on my compound; in your time with me, you will learn much. You will learn that America is made up of people from all races, walks of life and sexual orientation and that it’s all OK. You will learn to be patient and kind. You will learn the meaning of the word “respect” and memorize every line of Caddyshack. You will listen to The Ramones, Black Sabbath and the Brides of Funkenstein. You’re a figure of fun and I plan on having fun with that figure. You will learn who your daddy is, that’s for sure. But mostly, Ann, you will just the fuck up.Come on, Anne, ya fuckin’ psycho; let’s do this! Henry
Teach the Controversy is the name of both a strategy and a campaign designed and led by the Discovery Institute and other intelligent design (ID) advocates. The campaign is intended to undermine the teaching of evolution while promoting intelligent design, and to advance an education policy for US public schools that introduces creationist explanations for the origin of life to public-school science curricula.
Basically, even the description, "Teach the Controversy" was misappropriated in an attempt to lend an air of legitimacy towards ID as scientific theory.
If we follow the rightwing think tank's version of events, not only should we be teaching chemistry, but also alchemy. Not only neurology but phrenology. Not only physics but magic and not only astronomy but also astrology.
Perhaps we could also chuck in a few courses on palm reading, tarot cards and the I Ching while we are at it.
When it comes to religion, you're a non-believer (simple as that).You prefer to think about what's known and proven.You don't need religion to solve life's problems.Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy.
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
In a new study, 13 mothers were asked to sniff soiled diapers belonging to both their own child and others from an unrelated baby. The women consistently ranked the smell of their own child's feces as less revolting than that of other babies.
One possible explanation is that the mothers were simply more accustomed to their their baby's stink and therefore found it less repulsive. A more intriguing possibility, the researchers say, is that the mothers' reactions are anevolutionary adaptation allowing them to overcome their natural disgust so that they can properly care for their babies.
"A mother's disgust at her baby's feces has the potential to obstruct her ability to care for her baby and may even affect the strength of the bond she has with her baby," the researchers write.
The finding is among the latest in a series of studies suggesting that humans can determine biological relatedness through body odor. Another recent study found that mothers more accurately identify and prefer the smell of their biological children over that of stepchildren.
In other words, it may be evolutionary advantageous to find the smell of your own baby's poop less revolting than the smell of other babys' poop.
"Do the Evolution" is a song by Pearl Jam, from the album Yield. Like All of Yield, Do the Evolution was heavily influenced by the book Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. The lyrics paint a dire and pessimistic view of humanity as a thoughtlessly selfish and violent species, so enamored of its own achievements that it is blinded to its faults. It also shows how history repeats itself. The video begins with the evolution of life, from the smallest cell to the extinction of dinosaurs and reign of homo sapiens.
The video evolves into depicting human beings in violent yet historically true scenes such as a knight preparing for the coming slaughter during the Crusades, a ritual dance by America's infamous KKK, a rally by Nazi troops, carnage upon a World War I-era battlefield, the apparent rape of a young woman, and the bombing of a Vietnamese village by an American jet, the pilot of which removes his mask to reveal a skull laughing wildly. The video concludes in what seem to be future scenarios of the self-destruction of the human race, including the carpet bombing of a city by futuristic aircraft, computers hijacking the human mind, and finally a nuclear explosion which leaves a city in ruins.
Woo..I'm ahead, I'm a man I'm the first mammal to wear pants, yeah I'm at peace with my lust I can kill 'cause in God I trust, yeah It's evolution, baby I'm at peace, I'm the man Buying stocks on the day of the crash On the loose, I'm a truck All the rolling hills, I'll flatten 'em out, yeah It's herd behavior, uh huh It's evolution, baby Admire me, admire my home Admire my son, he's my clone Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah This land is mine, this land is free I'll do what I want but irresponsibly It's evolution, baby I'm a thief, I'm a liar There's my church, I sing in the choir:(hallelujah, hallelujah) Admire me, admire my home Admire my son, admire my clones 'Cause we know, appetite for a nightly feast Those ignorant Indians got nothin' on me Nothin', why? Because... it's evolution, baby! I am ahead, I am advanced I am the first mammal to make plans, yeah I crawled the earth, but now I'm higher 2010, watch it go to fire It's evolution, baby Do the evolution Come on, come on, come on LINK: ~
I have provided a title so Bush Believers will also be able to understand what the rest of us are laughing about. George Is A Mom? "So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well."—St. Louis, Jan. 5, 2004 What about the WMD the US Has, George? "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003 Maybe He Meant "Explore"? "We've got hundreds of sites to exploit, looking for the chemical and biological weapons that we know Saddam Hussein had prior to our entrance into Iraq."—Santa Clara, Calif., May 2, 2003 George Wants To Restore Chaos. Mission Completed "You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos. But we will."—Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003 We Must Invade Iraq To Stop Saddam Terrorising Himself. "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself."—Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003 This Is Just Wrong On So Many Levels. How About Presumption Of Innocence And "Prosecute" Not "Persecute" "When Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried, and persecuted as a war criminal."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 22, 2003 The US Is Going To Disarm If Saddam Doesn't "I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."—Speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002 Why George? Thinking About Pulling Out The Klan Outfit? "Do you have blacks, too?"—To Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001 George Wanted Arafat To Rule The World "After all, a week ago, there were—Yasser Arafat was boarded up in his building in Ramallah, a building full of, evidently, German peace protestors and all kinds of people. They're now out. He's now free to show leadership, to lead the world."—Washington, D.C., May 2, 2002 George Gives Us A Hint Why His Businesses Have Gone Bankrupt "We've tripled the amount of money—I believe it's from $50 million up to $195 million available."—Lima, Peru, March 23, 2002 George Doesn't Want Peace To Happen "My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the—in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen."—Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001 WTF? "Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."—Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000 Ummm It Is A Federal Program? "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."—St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000 Fish Are Violent Apparently "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."—Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000 Most Imports DO Come From Overseas "It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."—Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000 George Loves His Wife Like He Loves His Brother "She is a fabulous First Lady. I was a lucky man when she said, yes, I agree to marry you. I love her dearly, and I'm proud of the job she's doing on behalf of all Americans. Just like I love my brother." - George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sep. 9, 2003 The Nazis Agree With You About Propaganda "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --President Bush, Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005 Please Shut Up Now "Who could have possibly envisioned an erection — an election in Iraq at this point in history?" —George W. Bush, at the white House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005 I Am Begging You. Shut Up "I think — tide turning — see, as I remember — I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of — it's easy to see a tide turn — did I say those words?" —George W. Bush, asked if the tide was turning in Iraq, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006 Germany? "The point now is how do we work together to achieve important goals. And one such goal is a democracy in Germany." —George W. Bush, D.C., May 5, 2006 George Wants To Control Us Not Defend Freedom "Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." —George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004 And My All Time Favourite "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." — George W. Bush, Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004